KENNY NEEDS YOUR HELP!

This past week one of America's top cultural icons was involved in a very tragic situation. Of course I'm referring to the extremely handsome, curly haired, mild mannered Soprano sax player, Kenneth Goerlick, better known by his unmistakable stage name Kenny G. Back in the early 90's you would be hard pressed to find a heterosexual male who lost his virginity without the aid of smooth jazz courteously of Mr. G.

On June 23, some hooligans trespassed onto Kenny G's Malibu beach side estate and decided to launch Powerbar's and Hershey Kisses off the 50ft balcony. One beach patron was injured by these harmful snacks, Brooke Porter a 9 year old girl needed 4 stitches in her head. Brooke was at the beach with her family including her 12 year old brother who suffers from Down Syndrome and Autism. Kenny G's wife covered all of the medical expenses.

These fiends are still at large, and I think its our duty to unmask the culprits of these heinous crimes. That is why I am asking any readers of this site to please write in any theories they might have on who threw these snacks at young innocent Brooke Porter via Kenny G's balcony. Send an email to dblack121@gmail.com or just post your theory directly in the comment section. I will post all entries on the main page of the site. ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT KENNY G RELATED INJURIES!

Here is what I think might of happened….

It is common knowledge that NFL quarterback Doug Flutie has an Autistic son, and is one of the top spokesmen for the cause. Mr. Flutie is such an advocate of autism, that he actually hates children who don't have Autism. I mean who makes an exclusive cereal for autistic children? Seriously! Also, there are only a handful of men who could successfully nail a target from 50 ft up, Flutie being one of them. My theory is that on June 23, 2007 Mr. Flutie threw a perfect spiral at the Porter family's only healthy child's head, with the intent of making poor little Brooke retarded. Just like his attempts at the championship, Flutie failed. Oh and also, Doug Flutie hates Kenny G.

OR

I hate to constantly mention Chuck Norris, but if his piss really is Red Bull, than he clearly wouldn’t hesitate to throw away a perfectly good PowerBar. Oh and also, Chuck Norris hates Kenny G.

OR

Anyone with the first name Ken, Kenneth, or Kenny, and whose last name begins with the letter G - C'mon this one is obvious, id be bitter too.

SEND IN YOUR THEORIES DBLACK121@GMAIL.COM or post in the comments section!!