I am an Alumni of the very mediocre University of Delaware. My school provided email address is Dblack@udel.edu, for the obvious reason that my name is Dan Black. However, there is a professor named David Black, you see the dilemma already? I received email from students all the time thinking that I was professor Black. At first I was real annoyed, but then I decided to just play along and fuck with the students a little bit. Here is an email I received from a Udel Student and my response…
Professor Black -
I missed class last Thursday because I had decided to withdraw from the class. I met with my advisor and have since decided against it. I know I missed homework assignments but I was wondering if I could turn them into tomorrow for you to just look over. Thank you for your time. See you in class tomorrow.
M. Snyder
Dear SNYDER,
NO, ONCE AN ASSIGNMENT IS MISSED, YOU ARE OFFICIALLY TAKEN OFF THE CLASS ROSTER. IF SOMEHOW YOU SWINDLE YOUR MEASLY CARCASS BACK INTO THE CLASS, I WILL FAIL YOU RIGHT AWAY, UNLESS YOU DROP OFF A HAVANA LIME BURRITO FROM CALIFORNIA TORTILLA IN MY OFFICE AT 14:00 MILITARY TIME. YOU ARE THE WORST STUDENT EVER, WITH THE LAMEST EXCUSES. ID RATHER WORK AT HAPPY HARRYS OR SLAM MY BALLS IN A CAR DOOR THAN DEAL WITH YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSE CATALOG.
BY THE WAY, DO YOU HAVE A COPY OF ENYA'S GREATEST HITS. I JUST GOT IT, ITS PHENOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMNAL. ITS ALMOST AS GOOD AS THE SOUNDTRACK FROM DUNSTON CHECKS IN. REMEMBER LAST WEEK WHEN WE WENT SURFING IN DEWEY. THAT WAS AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE CHICKEN PARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ANYWAY, HOPE ALL IS WELL. IM JUST KIDDING YOU GET AN A IN THE CLASS. A FOR ABSENT. JUST KIDDING....YOU GET A B..... B FOR BORING....... JUST KIDDING YOU GET A C.......C FOR CHAMBER OF SECRETS. IN ALL SERIOUSNESS YOU GET A D...D FOR DEE FROM CLUELESS. JUST MESSIN YOU GET AN E...NO PUN YOUR GETTING AN E. YOU SLUT!
PROF.BLACK
Sunday, August 5, 2007
PROFESSOR DBAG
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6 comments:
I hope this was for real. Any response?
Professor Black
I have not been able to turn in my homework assignments because of a very sudden and brief illness. According to my doctor i have come down with a case of punchout syndrome. It is a rare disease that involves playing long hours of punch out and then renacting the game in reality during study periods. please excuse me from any work and give me an A for anerexic work ethic i mean A fo Awesome. Damn i don't know how to erase that from the message... ummm... Thank you!
Butchy Black
fucking hysterical.
This should be a series.
Hi Professor Black, I just tried to send an email to you at: danblack@maxwell.syr.edu regarding your publication "The Economic Reward for Studying Economics", and want to re-send it to you. You can reach me at anna.s.min@gmail.com, I do hope to hear back soon : )
p.s. I wonder if any of Macalester's professors have blogs...
Ah, after some further searching, I've realized you're not the 'dan black' I've been searching for. I should've paid more attention, but I hope you get a chuckle out of this one!
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