LIKE BROTHER LIKE BROTHER

When you grow up in the same room as another man, you get close…real close. My brother Neil (aka Butchy) and I shared a room our entire childhood. I was admittedly embarrassed about this growing up, but thinking back it was a real highlight of my life. As a result of this confinement, my brother and I have developed one douchy personality that we both share. We both have different interests, hobbies, waist size, and ball sacks, but when it comes down to it we are the same.

Nowadays, I live in Manhattan and my brother is attending college in Rhode Island, needless to say we don’t share the same room. However, every once and a while I believe our brains get on the same wavelength and as a result we engage in the same specific odd behavior.

A prime example of this behavior happened recently. My brother forwarded me an email that he sent to the Nabisco Corporation. He wrote this email completely intoxicated, he had a drunken urge to make a complaint with the Nabisco Corporation. Neil’s complaint was based on a famous Mitch Hedburg joke. Here is the email he sent:

From: Neil Black
Sent: Sat 2/23/2008 4:43 AM
To: Kraft - Nabisco Email Team
Subject: Your Comment/Question

I have a serious issue with the holes in your crackers. I feel like you are systimatically stealing precious cracker from the consumer with every bite. they are still delicious, and I love you for that. I want more effing cracker. Assholes.

Love,

Neil

Clearly a drunken email. Equally as funny is Nabisco’s response:

From: Kraft - Nabisco Email Team
Sent: Mon 2/25/2008 3:37 PM
To: Neil Black
Subject: RE: Your Comment/Question

Thank you for visiting http://www.nabiscoworld.com.

I appreciate the time you took to contact us. We're always pleased to hear from our consumers when they're enjoying our products. However, I was disappointed to hear of the experience you had with our crackers. Because we fell short of that goal, I'm sending you reimbursement to replace this product, via first class mail, which you should receive within 7-10 business days.

Your complete satisfaction is important to us. Please be assured we strive to maintain the high quality and standards of our products that you have come to know expect.

Thank you again for taking the time to share your thoughts.

Kim McMiller
Associate Director, Consumer Relations

Nabisco completely ignored the goofiness of Butchy’s comment. And this is how all corporations respond to email’s like this. If you want proof of that check out this drunken email I sent THE DAY BEFORE BUTCHY’S to my cable provider:

Friday 2/22/2008 9:12 PM

I have RCN and I am so disappointed. The service is terrible and the customer service is even worse. I hate you, you are pathetic. To top it off you don’t offer USA HD, and now that WWE is HD I can't watch it. What a let down. I’m going to go kill myself, Benoit style. Your pathetic.

Sexually yours,

Dan Black

P.S. your pathetic

You see the similarity? No? are you dumb? oh, you were kidding. Here is RCN’s response:

Monday 2/25/2008 1:01 PM

Dear Customer,

My name is Landry. Thank you for contacting the Email Support Staff. We are happy to provide you with the exceptional customer service you deserve.

In response to your recent email,

I apologize for any inconvenience this has caused you. I their is anything that we can do to assist you please do not hesitate to contact us at any time, you can contact us at 1-877-RCN-BILL (1-877-726-2455) between the hours of 8AM and 5PM, Monday – Friday or Technical Support at 1-866-TECH-RCN (1-866-832-4726), 24 hours a day seven days a week.

Thank you for your patience in this matter. If you should have any further questions or concerns please feel free to contact the Email Support Staff. We appreciate the opportunity to serve you.

Landry

RCN ignored a customers DEATH THREATS! It doesn't matter that it was blatant comedy. Anyway, I am not sure what possessed my brother and I to write these emails within a week of each other, I like to think it’s for a reason. One thing is for sure, both of these corporations don’t have a sense of humor.